


warm water

by ConvenientAlias



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Bath Sex, Drunk Sex, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Mildly Dubious Consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-08-30 04:05:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16757338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConvenientAlias/pseuds/ConvenientAlias
Summary: Annalise has a bad night. Bonnie helps her.





	warm water

She is always busy, now that she is out of jail, officially off the hook for murder. She is busy with trying to keep her career afloat or at least fish it out of the water where it’s already sinking. Busy trying to protect her students. Busy trying to figure out who killed…

…and then some nights it hits her again, blunt as it was the night when she saw the body or maybe even blunter. That Wes is dead. That the boy she came to see as her son is dead.

Nights like these she forgets all about Alcoholics Anonymous, about all the things that keep her busy, all the balls she’s supposed to be keeping up in the air. She gets out a bottle of vodka and tries to wash away the one thing she can remember: pulling away that blanket. Seeing that face.

And the voice message on the answering machine, Wes saying he hadn’t told the police anything, he wanted to talk to her, he wanted to protect her…

Yes, there are lots of things to forget, and lots of reasons to drink.

Bonnie finds her halfway through the bottle, takes it away from her and dumps out what remains. It’s a waste of good alcohol but Bonnie doesn’t listen to her when she complains about that. Bonnie is getting very sure of herself these days and hardly listens to her at all anymore.

“You’re not well,” Bonnie says.

No shit.

“Doesn’t matter,” Annalise says. “He’s dead.”

There’s pity in Bonnie’s eyes. She doesn’t even ask who Annalise means, which annoys Annalise as much as anything. There are too many reasons for Annalise to be sad, too many “he”s. She could just as easily be talking about Sam, or about her son, as about Wes. They all flow together, and they all deserve more than that.

There is no room in her soul to grieve them separately.

She really isn’t feeling well, though, and she stumbles off to the bathroom and vomits in the toilet. Bonnie is right behind her, and holds her hair up—that reminds her of Wes too, though it shouldn’t, Bonnie’s done it many more times than he ever did. She takes off her hair; it’s not worth the trouble. But her makeup is still perfect in the mirror, and it’s dissonant with how she feels. She rubs at it roughly with a piece of toilet paper.

Bonnie rummages around in the cupboard and finds cold cream and some cotton balls. She asks Annalise to sit on the edge of the bathtub, so Annalise does. Bonnie dabs at her face, and the foundation and eye makeup come away.

“You need to drink.”

“That’s what bothered you, isn’t it?”

“You need water,” Bonnie corrects herself. She disappears for a moment and returns with a glass. So Annalise drinks.

“He’s dead, Bonnie.”

Bonnie rubs her shoulders. “Would a bath make you feel better?”

It won’t help anything except possibly the headache she’s starting to acquire, but she nods because Bonnie seems hopeful. Bonnie starts the water running, then turns Annalise around and undoes the buttons on the back of her dress.

It’s not the first time she’s helped Annalise bathe or change clothes when Annalise has been out of it. But it’s the first time in a while, and for some reason, tonight, touch sparks memory. Of the last time they slept together. Ages ago now, back when it was still infidelity and she was still half-convinced Bonnie was only interested in her as some proxy for Sam. It had meant more to her then than it should have.

Bonnie eases the dress over her hips—it has a tight waist and skirt—and then lets it fall. Annalise steps out of it. She steps away before Bonnie can try to help her with her underwear and gives Bonnie a look. Maybe it comes out accusatory. Bonnie hunches a little as she turns to test the water.

“Will you stay?” Annalise asks.

“I’ll be right downstairs.”

“No.” She grabs Bonnie’s shoulders. “…join me?”

“You’re drunk.”

“Not as drunk as you think.” Annalise’s lips curl as Bonnie continues to hesitate. “Scared of me?”

She unbuttons Bonnie’s blouse. The fact that she can do that ought to be proof that she’s more depressed than drunk. The fact that Bonnie lets her…well, it doesn’t tell Annalise anything she didn’t already know.

She tosses the blouse aside, and takes off her own bra and underwear. When she turns back, Bonnie is stripping too, so she’s on board. Good. She isn’t in the mood to fight about it tonight. She just wants to get what she wants, what she needs, to forget…

No no no she’s not thinking about what it is she wants to forget. That’s the point, isn’t it? She focuses herself on Bonnie’s pale skin, how more and more of it is revealed as Bonnie takes off even her bra. The rosebud nipples that Annalise has only ever tasted once.

She gets into the bath, which is full now. Bonnie was good with the temperature—it’s hot, but not scalding. Left to her own devices, Annalise will make shower water scalding, but it’s not exactly relaxing, and tonight she wants to relax.

To that end, she pulls Bonnie in. Bonnie, who is still wearing her own makeup, neat eyeliner and mascara, and probably product in her hair. She slips as she steps in but Annalise catches her and lowers her down. They are sitting facing each other, but Bonnie’s curled on Annalise’s legs, a terrible angle.

“I forgot a washcloth,” Bonnie says after a moment.

“I don’t need you to wash me,” Annalise says. “I’m clean.” She takes one of Bonnie’s hands in her own and pulls it closer, places it on her breast. She forces a smile. “Make me dirty.”

Bonnie’s eyes flicker to hers and then down, and then down some more. Then she practically lunges forward, making the water in the bathtub sway in waves where her body displaces it. She presses herself against Annalise and sucks at her neck, which is only lightly damp, while her hands seek lower. One kneads Annalise’s breast, the heel pressing up and the fingers pressing down and the thumb pushed up against the side. The other strolls down Annalise’s stomach, down to her bush.

Annalise is mostly just receptive. She does not necessarily want to _do_ tonight; she wants to feel, and it’s clear Bonnie is open to that. She does curl her arms around Bonnie, and places one hand on Bonnie’s neck, holding her close. Yes, Bonnie kisses well, so talented with her lips and tongue. The neck isn’t exactly Annalise’s sweet spot but a lot of her sweet spots are currently submerged so she’ll cave to necessity. It’s fine because Bonnie’s tongue is still so wet and warm, and when she is this so close she is so undeniably Annalise’s. Annalise usually doesn’t like these kinds of demonstrations—usually she finds carnal proof some of the hardest to trust—but tonight she’ll take it. She needs something like this tonight. Something solid. Someone who will stay.

“Annalise,” Bonnie gasps against her neck. “Annalise, _Annalise_.” She sounds more aroused than Annalise actually feels. But it’s good. It’s good that this is doing something for her. That Annalise can be more than just a burden.

She moves one hand down between Bonnie’s legs and feels the slipperiness that isn’t just the water. Bonnie groans as if she’s fucking her even though she’s barely moving her hand. It’s easy, this. She lets Bonnnie buck against her hand and stroke her and kiss her, and it is all very easy.

When they are done, Bonnie lies on top of her. Annalise kisses her on the cheek. The bath is growing cool even despite their frenzied motions. They will not stay much longer, but getting up, forcing the weight of Bonnie off of her and standing and levering herself out of the water, seems impossible. She will wait until Bonnie is ready to get out first and pull her up.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt of "How to Get Away With Murder: Bonnie/Annalise, caretaking & bathtub sex". ...did I do it right? was the angst too strong? Look whenever I think about HTGAWM for more than ten seconds I get sad about Wes so y'all have to join me in this hell.  
> Anyways, my femslash kinkmeme fun continues but now I am going to DO HOMEWORK. Comments and kudos are much appreciated, or come talk to me on tumblr at convenientalias.


End file.
